FAQ's from a Friend, Answered HERE!

Questions from my friend when she found out she was expecting twins.

1. Did you have help for the first few months during the night?

Yes, My husband. He took the first week off. I took care of the feeding during the night (every 3 hours) and if it wasn't time to feed then it was his job to hold and help them back to sleep. It really is a crazy experiment in sleep deprivation. Just prepare your mind now. When he went back to work then I took care of most of it. What really got me through the first 6 weeks, was being grateful that they were alive and not in the NICU. Gratitude that I could hold them and feed them really was powerful.

2. Are you tired all the time?

I was for the first 3 months or so. All the time. Then you get them to sleep through the night (or at least 11 pm to 6 am for us) and it is bearable.

3. What about help now?

I would definitely enlist help. There have got to be ladies or teenagers in the ward that can help hold babies or drive your other kids around for you. I have two friends in my neighborhood that also have twins. One had a sign-up in church Relief Society go around for someone to help with feedings (10am, 1pm, 4pm), when her husband wasn’t there (she nursed one and bottle-fed the other). The other had a friend whose kids were all in school come over one day a week so she could run errands and get things done.

4. Do you ever have anyone help you with cleaning, or laundry or dinner time?

Lots of friends offer to help (even take a load or two to their house), they drop off freezer meals. Accept ALL help. It doesn’t matter what your house looks like, or what you are wearing. Every little thing is a big help. Also ramen (or cold cereal) is fine for the first few months, plus never underestimate the power of paper plates. It's not for ever. And whatever you can do to make things easier is good.

5. Are you pretty much house bound or are you able to get out once in awhile?

The babies are house bound. But I need to get out once in a while for sanity. I have actually giggled with joy when I can go to the store by myself. The babies will go out in April when RSV goes down (babies would be 6 months). And I often think of just putting everyone in the car to go through a drive through for lunch. Just to be out of the house. But you will be in summer. So you may be able to get out sooner.

6. Is date night with your hubby even an option?

Right now we have 30 minute dates every once in a while to just to get out. When we did have a long night out 3 hours, for a company dinner, we got two baby sitters. My sister and my aunt. Do you have family around to help? You will definitely want to do anything you can to strengthen your relationship during this stressful time. We do video nights when we can.

7. What about the older siblings?

I'm not sure if I should give advice on this subject. But here we go anyway. I had a 6 year old girl, a 4 year old boy, and a 2 year old girl when the babies were born.

Lock up all markers, crayons, pencils, etc. You can't watch them all the time and you really don't want to have to wash/paint the walls on top of everything else.

Start the Play and Walk Away: I technique I saw with Super Nanny. You take the time to sit and start an activity (puzzles, toys, etc.). Then once they get into it, go throw in the laundry or whatever, stop by and check on their progress and talk to them a bit. They have a little attention and an activity and you get to get things done.

Show them pictures/scrapbooks or when they were a baby. All my children benefited from this. And it is something you can do before the babies arrive. We watched home movies of the kids on DVD while I nursed and they were fascinated that it showed them as babies.

We really did have a difficult time adjusting with all the kids. I wish I would have prepared them better for how things would be when the babies were here. We also had moved houses 3 months before the babies came. So they were still adjusting to the move and a new house, new beds, etc.

The babies are 4 1/2 months old now and it's like a golden time. They are alert and smile at the kids. They are on a good schedule. They can't move from where you put them. The other kids have adjusted to them and me taking care of them. It is something to look forward to.

From another friend:

What about doing BabyWise with Twins (on schedule);

I loved having my babies on a schedule. But I know it's not for everyone, there are other ways to do it. The only bad thing I found having them on a schedule is when the are not on their schedule. They aren't as flexible when it comes to meal times and nap times etc. But my goodness those are only a few times (like family dinners, vacations) and I was sure grateful for the schedule the rest of the time! I had 3 older kids to take care of. I nursed the twins, and I needed to know when I could make appointments for the other kids for things like dentists, etc. It was great to say, I can do it at 11 am or 1 pm, kind of thing.

So I'm getting close to having these boys and I'm getting a little nervous!! I just have one quick question for now though. You said you nursed your twins, right? Did you nurse them at the same time? And if so, did you use one of the twin nursing pillows that they have out there? Or just a regular Boppy?

I did nurse. I did nurse them at the same time. It was a little difficult at first because the babies heads are so floppy. So I needed my husbands help getting everyone situated. And I used rolled up burp clothes and receiving blankets to position their heads and to support my bosoms. (TMI, I know) I did use a big nursing pillow that I borrowed from a friend (they are My Breast Friend or Twin Nursing Pillow I think). If you aren't already on, you can try Meetup.com/SLMOTZ and ask if anyone is selling one.

I loved nursing them at the same time. But I know other moms who nurse them separately. So whatever works for you. I kept them both on the same schedule everything 3 hours in the beginning. It helped me be able to keep going with my older kids. I knew when I would be available to make appointments.

I did the "football" position for a year. With my other kids I would always rotate positions like cradle, cross cradle, and football. I tried other positions with the two but this one worked the best for me. It's funny though that my other friend who nursed two sets of twins found the one that worked best was the first baby across and the second baby resting his head on the firsts belly or legs with his own legs going towards the back like in football.

In all honesty I don't think a normal boppy will do it. I think the moms I knew that did use their boppy also supported with other pillows. Or nursed in a lazy boy that somehow supported the babies.

I do highly recommend a twin nursing pillow for tandem nursing. It's good to have it waterproof with either spit up or leaky diapers or your milk leaking. There are plenty of fluids to spill on the pillow.

Also it is great to be able to take the whole big pillow when you are nursing at places other than home. I would always still nurse in private (so I could relax and have a good milk let down). I also actually bought a loveseat (used) for my bedroom so I would have room for the nursing pillow and then some. It was my nursing station.

So I believe it is so worth the money. You can always sell it in a year or so for $30-40 to another mom of twins (the twin club has a big garage sale every May and Sept, and the twin nursing pillows are always hot items that go very quickly!)